Between Sundays

Alright, I have not technically heard every Christmas song ever written so maybe I should state that the creepiest Christmas song I have ever heard is "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". Have you ever stopped and listened to the lyrics of this holiday classic? It sounds like something out of a Hitchcock movie rather than heartwarming tale of Christmas cheer. It is supposed to be a song sung by a band of carolers as they travel from door to door and starts off innocently enough: "We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a merry Christmas. We wish you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year." Now that verse might bring a smile to my face as a group of strangers sing in unison on my door step. I'm not a grinch; I enjoy a good song from well wishers. Yet just as my heart is warming up, they drive a stake of holly through it. This small choir of smiling faces becomes a roving band of misfits. Listen to verse two: "Now bring us some figgy pudding. Now bring us some figgy pudding. Now bring us some figgy pudding and bring it our here." You see! They turn into a gang that forces me to march into my kitchen and fix them some holiday treat! And cookies aren't good enough. No, they aren't satisfied with gingerbread men or snickerdoodles. They want figgy pudding! Who has ever heard of figgy pudding? I don't have figs and I barely know how to make pudding. What does this choir expect from me?! Yet there I stand, uncertain of what to do as their smiling faces start to look impatient. So with gusto they shout out: "We won't leave until we get some. We won't leave until we get some. We won't leave until we get some, so bring it out here!" What am I to do? They refuse to leave just like Cousin Eddy off of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. This is truly a frightening scenario and an utterly creepy song. So you had better plan on one of two things this Christmas. Download a recipe for figgy pudding or prepare to spend the holidays with roving bands of Christmas carolers. Don't say you weren't warned. Now if you excuse me I have to go wikipedia a recipe for "figgy pudding."